The Truth About Stress Management Most Men Miss

The Truth About Stress Management Most Men Miss

We men need to realise that effective stress management is actually about changing how we think, respond, and regulate, not just taking some time off or trying to do less.

Here’s what research says about how men typically view stress — and I’m going to try to show you what actually works.

How men commonly perceive stress management

Research shows many men in order to manage stress push toward what most people understand as practical or avoidance-based solutions like taking a short break, distraction, or just pushing through.

• The American Psychological Association Stress in America report found:

“Men are more likely than women to say they manage stress by watching TV, playing video games, or just sleeping.”

• The report also states men are less likely to talk about stress or seek out emotional support, because men often see stress as something they must “handle alone.”

• According to Mental Health Foundation research:

“Men are less likely to access psychological therapies and more likely to use distraction or avoidance strategies.”

The “quick fix” myth, holidays, days off, and cortisol

There is evidence all over the world that taking breaks help, but only temporarily because the fear returns and the stress grows.

A study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found:

“Holidays improve well-being and reduces perceived stress, but the effects fade within weeks after returning to work.”

So what I personally found was I had to be on holiday for a month before I realised that I was in fact relaxing and that realisation usually happened at the end of week three. yes — holidays reduce cortisol short term, but they don’t do anything to help us build resilience.

What actually reduces long-term stress in men

Research consistently shows sustainable stress management comes from psychological and behavioural changes, not just taking a short rest.

1.Emotional awareness and expression

Research from Harvard Medical School highlights: “Suppressing emotions increases physiological stress responses, including elevated cortisol.”

Here is the deal and it’s what all us men need to realise -Men who learn emotional awareness show better long-term stress outcomes.

2.Sense of control and boundaries

According to occupational stress research:

“Perceived control over work is one of the strongest predictors of lower stress levels.”

This is why boundary setting is more powerful than taking time off. Learning to set boundaries is crucial to changing our working lives and helping us find success.

3. Meaning and purpose

Studies in positive psychology show men cope better when stress is linked to purpose rather than just pressure. One of the foundations of this idea comes from Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, who wrote:

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how’.”

His work showed humans can tolerate enormous stress when they feel a sense of purpose.

Modern positive psychology which I studied as part of my mental health coaching qualification has built on this — showing meaning acts as a psychological buffer against stress.

The deeper truth please read it.

Stress management is about not just taking a day off, its about

• How you understand and react to pressure

• Your internal dialogue, what you say to yourself.

• Emotional regulation, how are you reacting to life?

• Boundaries, have you the ability to set them?

• Self-belief, can you believe in yourself again?

• Nervous system resilience

You could say:

 “A day off gives me a break a short rest but it doesn’t treat the thinking patterns that create all the stress.”

Summary

All the research shows men often think stress management is:

✔ Take a break✔ Go on holiday✔ Exercise✔ Distract✔ Work less

While coaching can help us understand that real long-term stress reduction comes from:

Emotional awareness

Boundaries

Cognitive reframing

Support networks

Purpose

Self-regulation

Most men see stress management as external — taking time off, exercising, or switching off — which can help in the short term but doesn’t address root causes. Research shows lasting resilience comes from internal shifts like emotional awareness, clear boundaries, and reframing how pressure is understood and interpreted. Support networks, purpose, and self-regulation help men stay steady rather than simply recover. Ultimately, real stress management isn’t about escaping pressure — it’s about changing how we respond to it.

 If you would like to know more about my recovery from total mental exhaustion the journey toward it and my recovery please read my book The Bulletproof Banker and visit my website bjkennomotivation.com for more information on my coaching practice.